and lean not on your own understanding;
In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.
On Wednesday Cap went to work as usual and via a teleconference, learned his position had been eliminated, effective today. A real class act that company is! Two days notice, and 2 months severance. All things being equal, this type of news is hard enough, but given we're 3.5 years into a long, drawn out adoption that has slowly depleted our savings and left us on a roller-coaster that seems never ending, the news just plain sucks. There I said it. Ironically Cap was set to go on vacation beginning today, so, I guess you can look at it as a much longer vacation than anticipated.
While my head swims with all the what ifs and the reality that if he doesn't find a new position by the end of August, we're in deep trouble, I can't help but feel really, really bad for Cap. He normally leaves the house each morning at 6:00, and before he does he never fails to kiss me good-bye as I sleep. He always kisses my forehead and whispers "I'm leaving, I love you". I normally "sense" him doing it, and on occasion, even wake up long enough to utter a somewhat coherent response. This morning his good-bye was different. It was something to the affect: "I'm leaving. The last day". Though I willed myself to open my eyes, I didn't quite achieve it, but did manage to respond "on to bigger and better things"... I believe this to be true.
I don't know about y'all but for me, when tragedy strikes or something really goes wrong, I have learned to just indulge myself for a day or two and not fight the heaving sinking feeling in my stomach - with the knowledge that it will pass and soon I will be able to sort it out and look at it in a different light. This time was no different. I knew in a few days, while things wouldn't be better, my heart and spirit would be in a better place.
Cap and I have seen our share of heartache & disappointment - and then some. In the past 10 years we have both gone through very long drawn out divorces that literally left us penniless We've been jobless and endured serious illness. We have faced cancer up close and personal way too many times; including but not limited to Cap's sister Lisa's three battles with the disease that ultimately & tragically took her life a few years ago. We've watched Cap's son Jason battle it several times - being diagnosed for the first time when he was just a Sr. in College. We almost lost Cap's mom a few years ago after she underwent quadruple by-pass, and have been estranged from some of our grown children as well as a few of own siblings. Since November of 2003 we have been in the adoption process - first of JR, whose adoption took 9 months from the first visit, to the court date, and two months later, H3, who we will still wait for. Each event only served to deepen our love for each other, and strengthened our family. We are survivors and we will overcome this latest setback.
I can say without a doubt that if I did not know God as my personal savior, I would be lost. I know Cap feels the same way. When he got home Wednesday we immediately began to try and sort it out. He had broken the news to me earlier in the day -telling me the news over the phone as soon as he go it, and instinctively we went into brainstorm mode. Things were crazy - making calls, networking, etc. I looked up and realized it was 6:30 - the time we normally leave for Bible Class. I mentioned it to Cap and thought he'd want to opt out this time. He agreed that more than ever, we needed the fellowship and prayer, so off we went. We were not disappointed!
Still, the past few days have been rough. This morning, though, I got the kick in the backside I needed when I opened my email. I subscribe to K-Love's Encouraging Word and this morning it was evident that things will work out. The verse today was Proverbs 3:5-6 above.
Yeah, it really sucks right now but we'll get through it all with God's help, and the support of family and friends. I guess this means I'm back off the usual Cheetos & bottled water diet (it's my diet of choice when I'm depressed) and back to life. I can't promise to stay upbeat 100% of the time while he is essentially unemployed and seeking a new position, but from now I refuse to let it overwhelm me. To help remind myself of the positives, in true Leno style, I've come up with a top 10 list of reasons I should be happy he's no longer employed by the Depot:
10.) In three days we've lost a combined total of 6 lbs!
9.) When the weekend forecast is less than sunny this summer, we can switch our boating plans to midweek!
8.) We're gonna save a bundle on gas!
7.) I don't have to iron nearly as much as I normally do. No khaki's or dress shirts in the immediate future!
6.) Since Cap will be home in the a.m. for the immediate future. I can sleep in a few days a week!
5.) Our lawn might get mowed more than 1x every 2 weeks!
4.) I have a very valid reason to insist he doesn't through a 50th birthday party for me in August - no job=no money for parties
3.) I can grocery shop alone all summer - JR can stay home with Poppa!
2.) No more 7:00 p.m. dinners (Cap normally returned home between 6:15 - 6:30 so..) and we can eat at a "normal" hour!
And the number 1 reason why losing his job is a good thing:
Cap will be available and on call to unclog the shower drain!
On Wednesday Cap went to work as usual and via a teleconference, learned his position had been eliminated, effective today. A real class act that company is! Two days notice, and 2 months severance. All things being equal, this type of news is hard enough, but given we're 3.5 years into a long, drawn out adoption that has slowly depleted our savings and left us on a roller-coaster that seems never ending, the news just plain sucks. There I said it. Ironically Cap was set to go on vacation beginning today, so, I guess you can look at it as a much longer vacation than anticipated.
While my head swims with all the what ifs and the reality that if he doesn't find a new position by the end of August, we're in deep trouble, I can't help but feel really, really bad for Cap. He normally leaves the house each morning at 6:00, and before he does he never fails to kiss me good-bye as I sleep. He always kisses my forehead and whispers "I'm leaving, I love you". I normally "sense" him doing it, and on occasion, even wake up long enough to utter a somewhat coherent response. This morning his good-bye was different. It was something to the affect: "I'm leaving. The last day". Though I willed myself to open my eyes, I didn't quite achieve it, but did manage to respond "on to bigger and better things"... I believe this to be true.
I don't know about y'all but for me, when tragedy strikes or something really goes wrong, I have learned to just indulge myself for a day or two and not fight the heaving sinking feeling in my stomach - with the knowledge that it will pass and soon I will be able to sort it out and look at it in a different light. This time was no different. I knew in a few days, while things wouldn't be better, my heart and spirit would be in a better place.
Cap and I have seen our share of heartache & disappointment - and then some. In the past 10 years we have both gone through very long drawn out divorces that literally left us penniless We've been jobless and endured serious illness. We have faced cancer up close and personal way too many times; including but not limited to Cap's sister Lisa's three battles with the disease that ultimately & tragically took her life a few years ago. We've watched Cap's son Jason battle it several times - being diagnosed for the first time when he was just a Sr. in College. We almost lost Cap's mom a few years ago after she underwent quadruple by-pass, and have been estranged from some of our grown children as well as a few of own siblings. Since November of 2003 we have been in the adoption process - first of JR, whose adoption took 9 months from the first visit, to the court date, and two months later, H3, who we will still wait for. Each event only served to deepen our love for each other, and strengthened our family. We are survivors and we will overcome this latest setback.
I can say without a doubt that if I did not know God as my personal savior, I would be lost. I know Cap feels the same way. When he got home Wednesday we immediately began to try and sort it out. He had broken the news to me earlier in the day -telling me the news over the phone as soon as he go it, and instinctively we went into brainstorm mode. Things were crazy - making calls, networking, etc. I looked up and realized it was 6:30 - the time we normally leave for Bible Class. I mentioned it to Cap and thought he'd want to opt out this time. He agreed that more than ever, we needed the fellowship and prayer, so off we went. We were not disappointed!
Still, the past few days have been rough. This morning, though, I got the kick in the backside I needed when I opened my email. I subscribe to K-Love's Encouraging Word and this morning it was evident that things will work out. The verse today was Proverbs 3:5-6 above.
Yeah, it really sucks right now but we'll get through it all with God's help, and the support of family and friends. I guess this means I'm back off the usual Cheetos & bottled water diet (it's my diet of choice when I'm depressed) and back to life. I can't promise to stay upbeat 100% of the time while he is essentially unemployed and seeking a new position, but from now I refuse to let it overwhelm me. To help remind myself of the positives, in true Leno style, I've come up with a top 10 list of reasons I should be happy he's no longer employed by the Depot:
10.) In three days we've lost a combined total of 6 lbs!
9.) When the weekend forecast is less than sunny this summer, we can switch our boating plans to midweek!
8.) We're gonna save a bundle on gas!
7.) I don't have to iron nearly as much as I normally do. No khaki's or dress shirts in the immediate future!
6.) Since Cap will be home in the a.m. for the immediate future. I can sleep in a few days a week!
5.) Our lawn might get mowed more than 1x every 2 weeks!
4.) I have a very valid reason to insist he doesn't through a 50th birthday party for me in August - no job=no money for parties
3.) I can grocery shop alone all summer - JR can stay home with Poppa!
2.) No more 7:00 p.m. dinners (Cap normally returned home between 6:15 - 6:30 so..) and we can eat at a "normal" hour!
And the number 1 reason why losing his job is a good thing:
Cap will be available and on call to unclog the shower drain!
3 comments:
Very well said.
When we lived up there and were in dire straits, you told me "it would be ok. Alot happens in a year." In fact it does.
Ugh! You had me in tears until your list of positives.
I will be praying for your situation.
And, the list you made was awesome! Definitely things to look forward to!
First, I'll stand by you (virtually) and agree that this sucks. Probably not the most politically correct thing to say - but it is the truth.
Next - I am so proud to know you. To see how you are looking 'up' for answers and guideance rather than looking 'out' (to others i.e. the former employer) to place blame. It would be so easy for you to bad mouth the company, the people and what they did. But you are trusting God's divine plan...what an amazing lesson for Skip to see! He is watching you - seeing how to handle hard times, what to do when life throws you a curve ball. Wow...what great examples you and your husband are!
I know He has something big in store for your family. I can't wait to see what it is!
-Kathy
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