I did it! This is my 100th post. Not bad for less than 3 months of bloggin'...
I suppose I could make this one something really deep or philosophical, but then again, maybe not. Instead, I'm sharing this list of Pet Rules that Every Pet Owner will love!
PET RULES:
(To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.)
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is a son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
(To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.)
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other
dishes are mine and contain my food.
Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack.
Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about
this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your
comfort.
Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I
cannot stress this enough!
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur"niture.)
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is a son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
6 comments:
That is hilarious!
I wish everyone who reads this knew about your animal escapades so they could appriciate it as much as me.
I can see the long row of cat bowls in the home made cat bowl holder thingy right now in my head.
Yep, nobody has ever accused us of being "normal"! (Thankfully!)
Congratulations!! I think I may be getting close. I need to check!! I was trying to think of something to do so I could have a give-away!
These are great!
And congratulations! :)
CONGRATULATIONS! LOVE YOUR BLOG, AND LOVE YOU! CALL ME AND WE'LL GET TOGETHER. MAYBE THIS WEEKEND WHILE YOU'RE A FREE WOMAN - OR WE CAN WAIT TIL WE MAKE IT A FAMILY THING - OR BOTH!!!
That is funny!
I think my poor dog feels neglected since the baby came. She was our baby for 12 years!
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